While you’ve probably been by the shop on a regular basis and seen a new gown in the process of being “built,” you’ll notice that I’m also not very active in world right now. I’m very sorry about that. I’m logging in now to clear my IM cap, but… I don’t have much energy right now to handle SL.
You see, around December, life just pretty much came apart. Right before Christmas, my mother-in-law was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. While it wasn’t a big shock for us, it was for her. Unfortunately, none of us were really prepared for what that meant. She’s finally at the stage where if one of us leaves the room while we visit, she’ll ask the rest of us where they went. Five times in a row, usually in a three minute stretch.
She’s gotten herself in major debt and we aren’t able to help her financially, because last month, my husband lost his job. This threw us for a nice downward spiral. But to make things worse, her “companion” seems to be taking advantage of the situation by accepting everything that my mother-in-law “gifts” her. My MIL doesn’t remember having done so and if she is actually “gifting” the items, they weren’t always her items to be “gifting.” And honestly, I feel that it is in poor taste for the companion to accept such “gifts” without consulting the family, because of my MIL’s illness.
This started when her roommate started noticing things disappearing, including at least one article of her own. One major item was a geriatric recliner that cost a good deal of money and had many really good features. It is apparently completely missing and how? MIL “thinks” she might have given it away, but she doesn’t remember to WHO. This must have happened while the roommate was at work, because that chair was HEAVY and required at least two people to manhandle it. And the other person with MIL at the time would have been her “companion.” MIL could have still used the chair and we were thinking of setting it up in her living room proper with her TV, so she didn’t stay in her bed all day.
Next, we’ve noticed her symptoms are getting worse. My sister, who was an RN working Neurology at a hospital, told me she doesn’t think MIL is getting her meds. Or if she is, why hasn’t the companion noticed the sudden decline and give us a heads up so we could talk with her doctor? Unfortunately, we’re not able to go over everyday ourselves, so we’re kind of forced to trust the ones around her to help us help her.
Today, we’re going over to my MIL’s house to check up on her. Without calling. And what we find there will decide how we will dismiss this companion. Note, I said “how” rather than “when” or “if.” There is no question in my mind that the companion is taking advantage of the situation, which I’m pretty sure is against the company’s policies. While it’s likely that it could be strangers stealing from MIL or the MIL is being spiteful and giving things away and using her illness as a crutch for “forgetting” who she gave them to, it’s actually vanishingly small that it’s the former and the latter, well, when the MIL was in her fine form, I wouldn’t have put it past her, but I don’t think she’s holding onto trains of thought long enough for that kind of thing.
So, we’ve got a lot of calls to make. Dozens. One to the company the companion works for, another to MIL’s doctor, and a third (at least) to Medicare to see about what wheels need to be moving so we can get her into an assisted living home. If she keeps up this steady decline, then it might not be an assisted living home, but a true nursing home.
Thank goodness for her roommate! My MIL might talk bad about her, but she’s the one that’s helped the most. She’s making sure the bills get paid and that the house is still in one piece. She’s put up with a lot, because my MIL is… difficult to deal with at any given time.
Yeah, that’s also the main reason why the MIL can’t move in with us. She’s… gah, I can’t put it nicely except to say that from what my husband has told me and from what I have witnessed.. She likes to think she’s the alpha, regardless of situation. I’m an alpha by nature to. It’d be like two rams butting heads every five seconds. We don’t NEED that kind of tension right now.
Plus, I have to deal with my 7-year-old, who knows his grandmother is very sick. We’ve tried to speak with him on the subject of “What if my grandma doesn’t remember me any more?” We tell him that it’s alright to feel sad and hurt, but to keep in mind that she doesn’t WANT to forget him, it’s the illness that might make her that way. I’d hate to think how this might affect him if she was with us as she declined.
So all that said, please understand that I can’t be in world as often as I like right now. If you have a customer service issue, please drop me a notecard and I’ll respond as quickly as I can. If I get time tomorrow and feel like something other than emotion and physical roadkill, I might try to finish the dress I started. It’s going to be another walking dress.
Thanks for letting me vent. I really needed it.
